So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
