stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
