your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
