i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
