i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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