have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
