i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
