i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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