I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
