me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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