i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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