So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
