So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize