I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
