when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
