I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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