Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
