You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
