Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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