i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
