her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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