New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
