There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
