He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
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I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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