exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize