Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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