I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
