Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
