So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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