He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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