Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
