im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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