let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
