Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
