Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
