is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
