I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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