Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the day after is always just damage control
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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