i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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