a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies