You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
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btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
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as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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