dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
