If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
