I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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