I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
