real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
