How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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