can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
