I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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