Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The air taste purple.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
