is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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