I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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