She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house