i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just pee around me
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.