we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
