I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
