and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
