I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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