I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
