; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
