Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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