well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
